


Lying Away From You

by SpriceThePrice



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Betrayal, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Game Spoilers, Here goes, Love/Hate, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Slow Burn, arthur maxson - Freeform, dont kill me, go easy on me this is my first time, i dont know what im doing, i love maxson, im sorry, just for fun, maxson may slightly be out of character, teach me how to ao3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:37:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpriceThePrice/pseuds/SpriceThePrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amber is an ordinary, mild-mannered yet sarcastic, young woman with a perfect life. Until one gruesome morning, she witnesses something that changes her forever... the day the bombs fell. Now after her 200 and some year slumber, Amber learns she is the only survivor from Vault 111, her only purpose is to find her son and avenge her husband's death. Transformed by grief, Amber eventually comes to the disturbing conclusion that no length is too great when finding her son. While learning to adapt to her new life in this wasteland, she stumbles upon the Brotherhood of Steel. </p><p> </p><p>-----------------------<br/>Title inspired by Linkin Park's "Lying From You".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive my horrible writing skills, I learn as I go.

"Arthur, please listen to me..." I begged in between breaths. 

His back was facing me and his hands were placed together firmly behind his back. There was no reasoning with him, so why I even bothered to try and explain myself to him was beyond me. I knew this was going to happen, I could tell he was going to be nearly impossible to speak to as I walked in here, just as soon as I saw the whiskey bottle out on his table. 

"I didn't mean to-"

My sentence was cut short and replaced with a gasp of horror as Arthur spun around and charged at me. Slamming me up against the nearest wall, his large hand grabbed my jaw and forced me to stare up into his cold, piercing blue eyes. He was gritting his teeth and staring a hole right through me. I winced as Arthur dug his thumb and index finger into my jaw, surely to leave a bruise or mark of some sort. 

"Spare me from your blatant lies!" He growled, digging his fingers deeper into my skin. 

A whimper escaped my mouth as I fought to get out of Arthur's grip he had on me. The more I struggled, the more pressure he applied to my jaw. It could have been worse, he could have grabbed me by my throat and slammed me up against this wall with all of his strength, possibly knocking me out once my head hit the wall. But he didn't so... maybe that means I have a chance of escaping off this God forsaken, glorified air balloon. 

"Stop!" I begged, attempting to shove him off of me. He didn't even so much as budge at my attempts. "Arthur!"

"After everything that I have done for you..." He started, "Allowing that abomination Danse to 'live', putting up with your constant insubordination. Just to have you betray me like this..." He seethed, I smirked.

"Betray you?" I questioned wide-eyed in disbelief, "Are you fucking kidding me?! I'm here aren't I?!"

"You've played me for a fool, allowing me to believe that you lo-"

"I do love you!" I shouted, cutting his sentence short. 

"You've been working for them all along," He growled between gritted teeth, tightening his grip and causing me to cry out, "SAY IT!"

"No!" I yelled in defense, "You know that!"

"Then what would ever make you betray me like you have?!" He roared, pulling me against his chest by my jaw and slamming me back up against the wall. 

"I haven't betrayed you!" I screamed, no longer caring if anyone could hear us from outside his quarters. Tears were threatening to pour out of my eyes as I swallowed the hard lump in my throat, trying to form words together while thinking about my reasoning behind being away for so long AND being spotted by a team of Brotherhood soldiers and knights while working with the institute. "You knew from the beginning about why I needed to get inside of the Institute!"

The tears I was fighting to hold back were now streaming down my face. I closed my eyes my balled my hands into fists at both my sides, angry and humiliated that I was allowing myself to cry in front of Maxson. Once my warm tears reached Arthur's hand, he released my jaw and pulled his hand back like he had been scalded. I hung my head in shame and watched as the tears from both of my eyes hit Arthur's floor.

"The director..." I started in a whisper, slowly lifting my head to make eye contact with him. "..He's my son."


	2. The Prydwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber finishes Kellogg and The Prydwen arrives in the Commonwealth.  
> Amber meets Arthur.

Killing Kellogg was supposed to help numb this aching, dull, lifeless pain inside of my heart. It didn't. In fact, if anything I feel the same... _empty._ Even though I finally killed my husband's killer and my son's kidnapper, I still feel the same as I did when I arrived at Fort Hagen. Nothing could possibly change that until I find Shaun. However, be that as it may, I got bloody satisfaction out of putting a full round inside of his skull. 

"Uh... he's dead, Boss. Come on... let's get outta here" Deacon awoke me from my thoughts.

My chest heaved in and out as I slowly lowered the gun. Deacon probably thought I had officially lost it, shooting at Kellogg's already lifeless body until I was out of bullets. Still, he didn't press on the matter and just wrapped his arm around my shoulders and stared at me with a frown on his face. Sighing loudly, I reached around and put the pistol in the waistband of my pants, or what MacCready likes to call "road leathers". 

"He's gone now, you did it. You did it." Deacon reassured me as I glanced back at Kellogg's dead body before leaving the room. 

When Deacon and I finally made it to the roof of Fort Hagen Command Center, MacCready was patiently waiting there smoking a cigarette. All the turrets had been taken out and while he looked exhausted, he looked relieved once he noticed that I was perfectly fine... on the outside. 

"Where to now, Boss?" MacCready asked as we approached him.

"Diamond City," I replied shortly. "You can head back to Sanctuary with Dogmeat, you're played out Mac, you gotta rest."

MacCready let out a faint laugh, "You gotta learn to take your own advice, Boss. When's the last time you've slept since you picked me up in Goodneighbor?" 

Shrugging, I gave Dogmeat a pat on the head, "I think I've slept enough."

Deacon flashed MacCready a warning look. They both knew about Vault 111, and they both knew how touchy of a subject it still was for me to talk about. I never kept anything from them, due to the fact that I'm literally alone in this fucking wasteland. I'm not looking to make friends, but I'm also not looking to get myself killed out here. These friends I've made in my short time of being out of the vault, are really all I got right now until I find Shaun. 

"Be safe Mac" I chuckled, sensing his awkwardness.

"Would you look at that..." Deacon gasped.

MacCready and I both cocked our brows and turned to see what it was Deacon was talking about. My eyes widened at the vertibirds that were leading a ginormous airship across the night sky. I knew what vertibirds were because of Nate and his military experience, but I never expected to see them again... especially in the Commonwealth. My heart still pounded against my chest as I watched the vertibirds lead this ship. It was the same anxious yet proud feeling I use to get back before the war. Nate had arrived home from deployment on one. 

_"People of the Commonwealth..."_ A deep males voice through an intercom echoed throughout the sky, _"Do not interfere, our intentions are peaceful."_

"Son of a- ...It's the God damn Brotherhood of Steel. What the hell are they doing here?" MacCready scowled, causing me to turn my attention away from the sky.

 _ **"We are The Brotherhood of Steel"**_ The voice stated proudly. 

"Back in Capital Wasteland the Brotherhood was a force not to be reckoned with. But them plus a giant airship..." Deacon trailed off, shaking his head and giving me a nervous glance.

"Did you see the size of that airship?!" MacCready exclaimed, "Now that's how you make an entrance."

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Paladin Danse." I called out, nodding at Haylen in acknowledgement as I passed her.

Danse spun around and faced me, "The calvary's arrived and it looks like they sent in the big guns." 

I nodded, "No kidding... I've never seen something like that before..."

"Amazing, isn't it?" Danse smiled. I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek and shifted my weight on one leg, waiting for him to explain to me what that ship was and why it was here in the Commonwealth. "We call our ship The Prydwen. She's loaded with enough troops and supplies to mount a major offensive. If she's here... Elder Maxson is here... and that means we're going to war."

"Who's Elder Maxson?" I asked with genuine curiosity. 

"He's a piece of work is who he is..." Deacon mumbled under his breathe, immediately recieving one of my pointy elbows in his ribs, "OW!"

"Is there a problem, initiate?" Danse asked, narrowing his eyes into a glare. 

"Hmm?" I hummed with a fake smile on my face, "Oh, no... no problem at all, sir." 

Danse shifted his glare from me to Deacon and then back on to me again before clearing his throat, "Anyway... Maxson is the commander of this division of The Brotherhood of Steel. He's the model of what every Brotherhood soldier hopes to become. If we're going to war, I can promise you that he'll be leading the charge."

I opened my mouth to say something but Danse cut me off before I could speak, "That being said, you're about to get to know The Prydwen up close and personal." 

"We're going on that thing?!" I exclaimed with wide eyes. 

Danse closed his eyes and sighed in aggravation, "Yes... I've received orders that we're both to report to her immediately."

"Holy shit..." 

"Follow me up to the roof of the police station. We're going for a little ride..." Danse smirked.

You couldn't possibly punch off the smile I had across my face. I was excited to see the Prydwen up close and personal. Not only that, I was excited to meet this 'Elder Maxson' and the troops he brought with him. If anyone could help me get closer to finding Shaun, it had to be these guys. After all, they appear to be the only military that the Commonwealth has left. 

"Come on Deeks, let's get on one of those bad boys!" I squealed in a low tone, grabbing Deacon by the wrist and dragging him up the stairs with me. 

My knees trembled as I climbed aboard the vertibird. Before the war, I had never been on any sort of air transportation. Mostly because I'm afraid of heights and afraid of something going wrong - I'd much rather die on land. Not only that but, I never really had a reason to fly, especially since my life moved as fast as it did. I met Nate the summer after graduation. I was seventeen, Nate was twenty-three and a soldier. At the time he was stationed out of Boston and I was impatiently waiting for summer to end so that I could begin my first year of law school. 

To say it was love at first sight, would be a mere understatement. I was completely and utterly head over heels in love with Nate, and he was even more crazy about me. Though he was a little bit older, my parents adored him and respected him for how mature he was for his age. Later on, I had found out that Nate had seen horrible things during his deployment in China, and even though he was young, he had seen more at the ripe age of 23 than most grown men ever had. I guess that's kind of like me in a fucked up way. Here I am, 200 and some years old and looking for my abducted son when I should be a twenty-year-old, young mother raising her son and caring for her home. 

When Nate returned home, I had just turned nineteen and he twenty-five. We were married within a month of him being home, and pregnant almost instantly after that. I was twenty when I gave birth to Shaun and twenty and a half when I entered Vault 111. 

"That minigun in front of you is loaded and ready to go. If you spot anything hostile during our flight, I suggest you put it to good use." Danse yelled out over the sounds of the vertibird taking off, nodding in the direction of the minigun. "Make sure you properly identify your targets before you start shooting. We don't want any mishaps and start firing on the locals." 

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Yes sir."

Surprisingly I wasn't as nervous as I had initially thought I would be. If anything, I was enjoying the flight too much to remember that I'm incredibly afraid of heights. It wasn't until I looked down below me at the Commonwealth when I became slightly nervous, gripping the minigun so tight that my knuckles had turned white. Danse stood next to me as I glanced over my shoulder to see how Deacon was doing. He was loving every second of it.

"The Commonwealth looks different from up here, doesn't it?" Danse asked, giving me a soft smile. I returned the gesture and nodded slightly. Danse's eyes shifted around before landing back on me, "It never ceases to amaze me how drastically your perception of the battlefield changes from the air."

"Yeah?" I asked wide eyed, "No kidding."

"Have a seat, Initiate." 

I sighed in relief and took a careful step back away from the minigun before cautiously sitting down next to Deacon. I closed my eyes and sighed, I'd have to get used to walking around while aboard if I was going to be on the Prydwen. 

"We're going to need that edge when we take on The Institute. They've already proven that they're technologically superior, which means there's no way of telling what types of weapons they have in their arsenal. Hopefully, our air superiority and tactical know-how will make the difference." Danse talked out-loud, unaware that I wasn't really paying attention.

"Damn, Danse could talk the ear off of a deaf elephant, huh?" Deacon leaned in and whispered.

I snickered and lightly elbowed Deacon again, "Shh... he means well. Besides, this is all information I need to learn."

"If you say so..." Deacon murmured.

"Now all we have to do is find them... and I'm betting that Elder Maxson will have a plan already in place by the time we arrive." Danse continued to ramble on.

I raised my eyebrows and let out a huff, "You and me both..."

Just when I thought Danse had finally stopped talking and would allow me a moment of peace and quiet, he licked his lips and continued his speech, "I wish everyone down there believed in our cause-"

"Ah, Jesus Christ..." Deacon groaned as Danse continued on.

I clicked my jaw to the side and stared directly at Danse, trying to actually focus on every word that he was saying. Though Deacon probably found Danse irritating, I found him honorable, passionate about what he does and brave. He clearly has a lot more faith in me than I do myself to just recruit me under his wing, which is why I need to start taking this more seriously and realizing that The Brotherhood might just be my best chance at getting into the Institute. Sure, The Railroad has been accepting of me and trying to help me as much as they possibly can... but I don't think they know their ass from a hole in the ground, to be honest. 

"-but they've been blinded by rumors and misinformation. They don't realize that the Brotherhood of Steel is the Commonwealth's last hope for survival. Every man, woman, and child are in mortal danger. If we fail, it's only a matter of time before the enemy overwhelms the population. Cleansing the Commonwealth is our duty and I will gladly spill my own blood if it ensures our victory!" Danse stated proudly.

I chewed my on the inside of my cheek nervously as I replayed what Danse had just said, over and over again inside of my head. He was right... Humanity, er, well what's left of humanity, is in danger. The silence between all of us was eerie, yet calming as we approached the old airport where the Prydwen was hovering overhead. My heart was racing and the palms of my hands became clammy as The Prydwen came into better view.

"There she is. It's been far too long since I've been aboard" Danse's voice awoke me from my thoughts. "All right, soldier... this is the moment where everything changes. I hope you're ready"

I swallowed the hard lump that had formed inside of my throat and nodded slowly, "I'm ready."

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Danse was the first to jump out of the vertibird onto the flight deck. Deacon slowly leaped out after him and turned back around and extended his arms out for me to jump. I waved him away and leaped down beside him. Deacon gave me a pat of reassurance on my shoulder as we both looked around at our surroundings. I'm not even inside of the Pryden yet and I'm already in complete awe of how amazing this thing is.

"That bastard Maxson really destroyed these guys. The Brotherhood use to be the good guys... ish." Deacon stated.

I frowned, "Try and keep an open mind, please?" 

"Anything for you, kiddo." 

With that, we followed behind Paladin Danse. Danse stopped abruptly and grinned at a very serious and important looking man. 

"Permission to come aboard, sir?" Danse asked even though he already knew the answer.

The man straightened out his posture and placed the side of his fist over his chest, "Permission granted and welcome back, Paladin."

"Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on a successful mission. Is this our new recruit?" The man asked, turning and looking me up and down.

Danse turned and looked at me aswell, "Yes, sir. I've field promoted her to initiate and I'd like to sponsor her entry into our rankings personally." 

"Yes... we've read your reports. You'll be pleased to know that Elder Maxson's approved your request, and placed the recruit in your charge."

Danse smiled widely, "Thank you, sir. What are my current orders?"

"You are to remain on the Prydwen and await further instructions." The man replied sharply.

"Very good, sir." Danse nodded, "Ad Victoriam, Captain."

"Ad Victoriam, Paladin." The man replied as Danse turned and headed off inside of the Prydwen.

"Shit..." I whispered under my breath, nervous that Danse had just left me out here all alone with this intimidating man before me. 

The Captain turned his attention back to me with an unpleased look on his face, "So... You're the one Paladin Danse has taken under his wing. Hmph. You don't look much like a soldier to me." 

He was right, I didn't. I was thin, medium height, makeup applied on my eyes and lips, and I'm clean. I had sent Codsworth back into Vault 111 to grab me a box full of unused soaps and shampoos, along with other toiletries (such as razors, toothpaste, and spare toothbrushes) almost instantly after returning home in Sanctuary Hills. I guess that's the only good thing I can say about Vault 111... it wasn't used like we had initially thought it was going to be used for, therefore all these extra supplies. Deacon and MacCready were always on my case about how I waste perfectly good purified water on sponge bathing myself or washing my hair. Sometimes I'd even boil water in hopes of 'purifying' it and have a bath in a fairly clean bathtub in one of the other vacant houses in Sanctuary Hills. Codsworth loved when I'd bring home Abraxo Cleaner, he said it reminded him of the old days when he's scrub our shower walls or the floors. 

I shrugged and allowed a smirk to spread across my lips, "Looks can be deceiving." 

"Which is precisely why I personally insist on scrutinizing every recruit who boards this vessel. I've read Paladin Danse's reports, he seems to think you'll make a fine addition to The Brotherhood. You might expect and endorsement like that to grant you a great deal of latitude with us, but let me make one thing clear... The Brotherhood of Steel has traveled to the Commonwealth with a specific goal in mind." 

He narrowed his eyes at me before continuing what he had to say, "As the Captain of this vessel, I won't allow anyone to jeopardize our mission no matter how valuable they think they are. Understood?" 

"And what exactly is your mission here?" I asked, sass heavily dripping from my tone.

The only reason why I was taking this man's shit right now and not telling him to fuck off, was because I needed The Brotherhood and frankly, they need me.

"I am not at liberty to say." He quipped. "Elder Maxson will be addressing the crew shortly and I'm certain all your questions will be answered then."

"Fair enough." I breathed.

"Your orders are to proceed to the Command Deck for the address, after which Elder Maxson wishes to have a word with you." The captain added.

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek for a moment before speaking, "Can you tell me anything about this... Elder Maxson?"

"Elder Maxson is the supreme commander of The Brotherhood. Without his tenacity and his vision, we'd still be a small group of complacent stragglers occupying the Citadel in the Capital Wasteland." He explained, pausing to see if I had anything to say. When I didn't, he continued on, "In a mere decade he's grown the Brotherhood of Steel into a major military force. He's an inspiration to us all."

"He sounds pretty inspirational..." I winced.

"If that's all, then I suggest you head over to the Command Deck immediately, dismissed initiate." 

 

He didn't have to tell me twice, Deacon and I quickly hurried into the Prydwen and followed behind other Brotherhood soldiers and who I assumed they were initiates just like me. Dance led me into Command Deck where Elder Maxson was standing before six other initiates with their chins up and their hands placed firmly on their backs. Danse had me stand right in front of Elder Maxson while he stood proudly next to me on my right. Elder Maxson's eyes met mine for a brief moment before he started his speech.

"Brothers and sisters, the road behind has been long and fraught with difficulty," Maxson started, his voice loud and clear and full of superiority. "Each and every one of you has surpassed my expectations by rapidly facilitating our arrival in the Commonwealth."

I watched him in complete awe as he paced back and forth in front of all of us, raising his hand and pointing here and there. He was impressive and handsome. I couldn't help but notice the scar on his right cheek that crept up above his dark beard. His haircut was an under shade or 'undercut' is what they called it back in my time, and it was longer and slicked back on the top. He was tall, broad-shouldered and muscular. His coat was intriguing too. 

_I want a fucking coat like that!_ , I thought to myself.

He stopped right in front of me and stared me directly in the eyes, making me nervous, "You have accomplished this amazing feat without a hint of purpose or direction, and most impressivly without question." 

I sighed in relief as he turned and began pacing back and forth again before stopping and facing the window, his hands firmly placed behind his back, "Now that the ship is in position, it's time to reveal our purpose and our mission." He slowly turned back around and held out a hand, "Beneath the Commonwealth, there is a cancer known as the Institute, a growth that needs to be cut before it hits the surface. They are experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to be the world's undoing for the second time in recent history."

 _They're also kidnapping children and killing spouses,_ I thought to myself.

Maxson straightened out his already perfect posture and stared at each and every one of us, "The institute Scientists have created a weapon that transcends the destructive nature of the atom bomb. They call their creation the "Synth", a robotic abomination of technology that is free-thinking and masquerades as a human being. This.... notion that a machine could be granted free will is not only offensive but, horribly dangerous. And like the atom, if it isn't harnessed properly, it has the potential of rendering us extinct as a species.'

I heard Deacon growl in disgust before he left the Command Deck, probably to wait for me to be done my chat with Elder Maxson. I can't blame Deacon for having a hard time coming in here with an open mind, especially when The Brotherhood is 100% against what the Railroad believes in. Maybe I should have just brought MacCready instead...

"I am not prepared to allow the Institute to continue this line of experimentation. Therefore, the Institute and their 'synths' are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel, and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. This campaign will be costly and many lives will be lost. But in the end, we will be saving humankind from it's worst enemy.... itself."

"Ad Victoriam!" Elder Maxson shouted.

"Ad Victoriam!" Everyone in the room cheered.

"Oh... uh, Ad Victoriam!" I winced, placing the wrong hand on the wrong side of my chest. 

Slowly, everyone started to clear out of the command deck, leaving me and Maxson all alone. My heart was racing yet once again and my anxiety was through the roof. I haven't even personally spoken to this man and yet here I am, at a loss of words and incredibly nervous just by being alone in his presence. I turned my back to him, to make it look like I wasn't nervous and I was just simply watching all the knights in power armor leave the command deck.

"I care about them, you know..." He said softly, making me turn around to face him.

"Care about them?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. All nervousness I had just had, was now gone. "I thought you were here to start a war."

"The Brotherhood is here to prevent a war by starting one of our own. The difference is our war won't reduce civilization to ashes." He replied sharply.

"I see... and what is it that you want from me, Elder... Maxson." I asked slowly.

"I want you to start taking responsibility for this planet, to start making a difference. And from what I've read in Paladin Danse's reports, you've already begun doing just that. Seeing as he's one of my most respected field officers, you couldn't get a better recommendation... Therefore, from this moment forward... I'm granting you the rank of Knight." 

My mouth fell agape, surprised that this was actually happening. 

"And, befitting your title, we're granting you a suit of power armor to protect you on the field of battle. Wear it with pride."

"Holy shit..." I thought out loud, immediately regretting what I had just let slip out of my mouth.

"Is something the matter, Knight...?" Maxson asked slowly, hinting at me to tell him my name.

"Oh, No... nothing just uh... thank you, wow." 

Maxson stared at me, eyes wide with expectancy, "Oh! It's Amber. Amber Hedlund." 

"Well Knight Hedlund, once you finish becoming familiarized with the Prydwen and my staff, I'd like you to report to the flight deck for your new orders." 

"Thank you again, Elder." 

"Welcome aboard the Prydwen soldier, make us proud."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was pretty boooooring and repetitive but I had to introduce Maxson the proper way, so...
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://spricetheprice.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> also, here's a little thing I did awhile back when I was originally gonna post this story on here, but chickened out.  
> [Story Photo](http://spricetheprice.tumblr.com/post/144558916555/so-i-did-a-thing-becaaaaaause-hey-ao3-im)


	3. The Wrong Foot

"She's impressive, I can see why you gave her the rank of Knight so soon, Elder," Quinlan said as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger, "She and Danse single-handedly secured Fort Strong, and within a couple of hours of being back on the Prydwen, she offered to assist on patrol while managing to collect technical documents in the process." 

"I have read through both her file and Knight Captain Cade's medical examination notes, and it seems that this woman is unlike any other wastelander to make their way into the Brotherhood ranks," Maxson stated before handing Cade back a folder.

"That's because she's not," Ingram quipped, "A 200 and some year old vault dweller."

"A pre-war relic you could say" Quinlan added.

"To her, she is still a delicate twenty-year-old housewife, while to us she's already proven to be more than just that," Cade added into the conversation. "She's also the healthiest one out of anyone on this ship, or the Commonwealth alone for that matter."

"It appears Knight Hedlund has made quite the impression on not only myself but to all of you." Maxson paused to hear of any objections. When there was none he continued, "Where is Paladin Danse and Knight Hedlund?"

"Goodneighbor, sir. They're both set to be back by 2200." Ingram answered, "They're following Knight Hedlund's lead with Dr. Amari"

Maxson nodded, "Very well then, dismissed."

\--------------------------------------------

"Bye Mr. Kellogg! I hope I see you again soon!"

_Shaun! My baby isn't a baby anymore... He's... He's a boy now..._

Kellogg waited until the courser and Shaun relayed out of the room before replying with a gruff "Bye". I could feel my blood begin to boil as I impatiently waited for Dr. Amari to pull me out of Kellogg's memories. My son... my own flesh and blood is no longer an infant but what appeared to be a ten-year-old boy. Not only that, but he seemed like he was actually going to miss that son of a bitch, Kellogg. My stomach was churning and I felt the need to vomit.

 _"Teleportation! Now it all makes sense! Nobody's found the entrance to the Institute because there is no entrance!"_ Dr. Amari exclaimed. "Let me pull you out of there... as soon as you're ready"

I had no way of telling her I was ready, but luckily for me, she took the initiative to get me out of there as soon as she was able to. My heart rate was probably sky high and although I was inside of the memory lounger, I could feel my body vibrate from how angry I was. It nearly killed me reliving Nate's death and watching Kellogg and those two other institute bastards kidnap my son. But seeing Shaun as a boy? Knowing that he's been with Kellogg and that I've missed what appears to be ten years of his life... that, that is what's killing me inside now. 

When the lounger pod opened and I came to, I nearly fell to my knees as soon as I climbed out of the lounger. Danse was immediately by my side and ready to catch me if I were to fall over. Doctor Amari was a few feet ahead of me, her hands out and her facial expression full of panic as I staggered over towards her, holding my head in my hands. A pounding sensation that was too great to be considered a typical migraine, was stopping my brain from processing anything. 

"Woah, woah, slow movements okay? I don't know what kind of side effects the procedure might have had. No one's ever done this before..." She warned.

"How do you feel?" Both Dr. Amari and Danse asked at the same time.

I groaned and slowly lifted my head from my hands to look at her, "Like I got fucked up in a bad accident."

Danse let out what sounded like a huff/faint laugh, glad to see that I was okay if I was still using vulgar language for no apparent reason. Amari sighed in relief and patted me on the shoulder. I winced as I placed my hand on the back of my neck and sighed. The pain was already starting to disappear. 

"That's good, but I want you to keep an eye on yourself... I want to make sure there's no long-term damage." 

"We should head back to the Prydwen immediately and have Cade look you over, Hedlund." Danse insisted. Both Amari and I glanced at Danse but ignored his suggestion. 

"Are you ready to talk about what happened in there?" Amari asked with a sympathetic look written across her face.

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek and thought about my answer for a moment before shrugging and deciding not to go into detail about anything that was shown, "Nah... we got what we needed. The institute is using teleportation to get in and out."

"Yes, their greatest secret has finally been revealed. But that only leads to more questions. How does it work? Where do we go from here?" Amari rubbed her chin and pondered her own questions.

"That scientist that the courser wanted Kellogg to hunt down..." I started, staring over at Danse who already knew what I was going to say, "Virgil? I..I'm going after him... I need to find him." 

"You're right, Amber. A rogue Institute scientist could answer all kinds of questions!" Amari agreed. "Where did the memory say he was? The Glowing Sea? But... how?! Nobody goes there, not even if they're desperate... it just doesn't make sense."

"Except for me" I stated sharply.

Danse smirked and I took a deep breath, "I need to find him... and if he's in there, no matter how bad it may be, I'm going after him..."

Amari sighed, "Understandable... but if you're going, be prepared. Rad-X, Rad Away, and one of those suits of power armour like your friend here is wearing. The radiation levels are stronger than anything we're used to. You must go in prepared. It's called The Glowing Sea for a reason."

"Prepared we will be" I assured her.

"I'm right behind you, Knight." Danse stated proudly, "What better way to try out that suit of power armor that Elder Maxson gave you."

I nodded in agreement, "Let's get back to the Prydwen, I need to shower, eat and sleep before we head out." 

"Not so fast, Knight. We have to clear this with Elder Maxson first." Danse replied sharply.

A faint laugh of disbelief left my mouth and I raised a brow, "Maybe you do, but I'm doing this regardless of what he says."

"It's not like that, Knight. If anything, this lead will get the Brotherhood one step closer to defeating the Insitute. However be that as it may, we still have to report back to him before doing so." Danse explained.

Sighing, I nodded in defeat, "Fine..."

"Good luck, Amber.." Doctor Amari interupted.

"Thanks Amari, and hey... thank you for everything you've done. I, I really appreciate it." I thanked her.

She smiled, "You are welcome. Remember what I said or else you will be dead, D-E-A-D. Also, I unplugged Mr. Valentine first. Removed the implant while you were waking up. He's waiting for you upstairs."

We said our goodbyes and then headed back upstairs. Danse sneered in disgust as soon as my synth detective friend, Nick Valentine, came into view. Nick was sitting up straight with his hands on his lap. His yellow eyes seemed dull, which I didn't think was possible. But if there's one thing I've learned from my short time of being out of the vault, is that almost nothing is impossible anymore. Deathclaws? supermutants? synthetic humans? Yeah... this is whole new "world".

"Hey Nick," I greeted him with a sigh.

"Hope you found what you were looking for inside of my head," Kelloggs voiced taunted me.

"What?!" Danse and I both hissed.

"I should have killed you while you were still on ice," Nick's mouth moved yet it was Kellogg's voice that spoke.

I gritted my teeth and grabbed Nick by his throat with one hand and reached for my pistol with the other. Slamming Nick against the back of the couch, I pressed the gun to the side of his head and tightened my grip around his throat.

"I fucking knew it," I hissed. "You're a fucking synth, of course you're able to speak for Kellogg."

"Amber!" Danse bellowed, grabbing my shoulder as Dr. Amari and Irma ran over to us.

"What! What are you doing?!" Nick managed to gargle out a question.

"Where's my son?!" I roared, "Don't fucking lie to me Nick!"

"Have you lost your God damn mind?!" Irma shouted at me from behind.

"What are you talking about?!" Nick yelled at me as Danse managed to pull me off of Nick.

My chest heaved in and out as I panted, "You... You were, it was just... Kellogg, he-"

"This was expected to happen! This is not Mr. Valentines fault!" Amari scolded me, "Now put your gun away, NOW."

Reluctantly, I put the gun away and sighed an aggravated sigh, "I'm sorry Nick. I... I don't know what I was thinking."

"You weren't." Danse scolded.

"Anyway... I feel fine so lets get going, or I could head back to Diamond City, since you've already got company."

"That will not be necessary" Danse cut in before I could respond.

"I don't recall asking you..." Nick replied with a glare.

"I'm gonna go with Danse, Nick. Head back to Diamond City and get some rest... who knows what kind of effects the proceedure could have on you." I answered, "And Nick... I'm sorry, I really am..."

"I can't say I blame you, kid. But let's not make that a habit, alright? See you back in Diamond City when you return from the Glowing Sea." Nick replied, giving me a pat on the back. 

_God, I'm a fucking asshole..._

\--------------------------------------------------

By the time Danse and I made it back to the Prydwen, I was exhausted to say the least. I didn't even want to eat, let alone report to Elder Maxson. All I wanted to do was have a cold shower that the Prydwen had to offer, and then crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. But nope, here I was... awkwardly standing behind Danse in the Command Deck where Elder Maxson was staring out at the Commonwealth with his perfectly straight posture and his hands firmly placed behind his back.

"Elder Maxson," Danse greeted.

"Paladin, Knight." Maxson greeted us both, his eyes landing on me for longer than I was comfortable with.

"We're here to report that our trip to the Memory Den in Goodneighbor was a success." Danse said proudly, "We have a new lead, sir."

"What might that be, Paladin?" Maxson asked, glancing over at me, causing me to look away.

"A rogue institute scientist is believed to be hiding out in the Glowing Sea." Danse replied.

I licked my lips and stepped forward, "This ex scientist could be our way of finding out a way into the institute." 

"I've had our scribes meticulously searching the Commonwealth but they've come up empty handed. The only logical explanation is that they've gone underground." Maxson cut me off before I could say anything else.

"Well, Maxson...Guess what?" I started, pausing to glance over at Danse who's eyes were shut and was sighing in disbelief that I had just addressed Maxson the way that I did. Everything that I say or do reflects back on Danse. "Our trip to the Memory Den revealed that the Institute uses teleportation to get in and out of the Institute."

"Is that so?" Maxson asked, raising his brows. "I can see why this trip to the Glowing Sea would be beneficial for the Brotherhood."

"Well... yeah. Rogue scientist... with all due respect, Elder, tracking this ex Institute scientist down is our only hope in moving forward with going to war against the Institute." I spoke softly, fidgiting with my hands. 

"Elder Maxson, with your permisson I'd like to accompany Knight Hedlund to the Glowing Sea. We'd be departing from the Prydwen tomorrow at 0600 hours." Danse cut in, probably in hopes of Maxson excusing the way I was speaking to him.

"Permission granted, Paladin. You are to accompany Knight Hedlund on this mission and I suspect you will be showing her the importance of protection against the sea itself. I've noticed that suit of power amor I assigned to her has yet to be touched." Maxson replied, staring at me directly as he spoke.

_Mmm... clanky, bulky power armor isn't my thing._

"Yes sir, I will be sending her to speak with Proctor Teagan concerning supplies for the mission." Danse assured him.

Maxson nodded before he finally broke the gaze he had on me, "Very well then, dismissed Paladin." 

Danse turned and headed out of the Command Deck, leaving me behind yet once again. I was unsure if I was dismissed too or not, so I remained where I was standing, awkwardly staring at Maxson and waiting for him to meet my gaze yet once again. When Danse was no longer insight, Maxson turned his attention over to me. 

"How are you adjusting to life on the ship, Knight?" Maxson asked, finally breaking the awkward silence in the room.

"Fine, Elder. I enjoy the luxury of having working showers that the Prydwen has to offer." I answered with a small smile. 

"I can imagine the shower facilities aboard the Prydwen are nowhere near the luxury of the ones before the war. I do however hope that the facilities offered will suffice." Maxson added, making me raise an eyebrow.

"I'm going to guess you've read my file that Knight Captain Cade has made for me?" I asked already knowing the answer. 

"Indeed I have."

"I see..."

"It has also come to my attention that the male companion you brought aboard the day that you were given the rank of Knight, was a member of The Railroad faction." Maxson said firmly. "I was unaware that your loyalty lies beyond The Brotherhood."

I scoffed, "Since you've read my file for some apparent reason, you'd know that I was inside of a cryogenic pod for the past 200 and some years. When I managed to get out of the vault, I did whatever I had to do, with whoever I had to do it with to get leads on where I could find my son. If this is your way of questioning my loyalty to the Brotherhood then wow... You'd think after all that I've done for the Brotherhood - including not returning to The Railroad - that you wouldn't even have to question my loyalty." 

"I am appalled with your reaction, Knight. I simply personally take the iniative to learn about my Knights under my command, not spy." Maxson retorted.

"Could have fooled me..." I gave a faint laugh of disbelief.

"Watch your tone, Knight." Maxson barked.

I sighed and shifted my eyes off of him before speaking, "The Brotherhood of Steel... and you... do not have to question my loyalty... I'd never betray the Brotherhood."

Maxson nodded slowly, clicking his jaw to the side, "It seems we have gotten off on the wrong foot, Knight. My apologies." 

"No apology needed, sir. It's me who should be appologizing... I've had quite the day..." I breathed. "I shouldn't allow my own struggles to cause me to speak to you like I did."

It hurt my pride saying that as I wanted nothing more than to tell him to shove his appology up his ass and remind him that I'm risking my God damn life every day for the Brotherhood AND trying to find my son. I could tell that he's use to people cadering to him at his beckon call. Since being aboard the Prydwen I've noticed that he's almost always alone unless he's roaming around the Prydwen, in that case it seems like almost everyone is at his side trying to get his attention or have something that needs to be brought to his attention. At first I felt bad, being that he's either paraded around by his staff or other Brotherhood soldiers, or he's all alone in the Command Deck or in his quarters. But now I wonder if he's unaware that he's usually all alone because it probably has something to do with the fact that he's a total asshole. For all I know, maybe he does realize this and prefers it this way. What a shitty way to live. 

"Appology accepted." Maxson replied. "I expect a full report when you return from your mission in the Glowing Sea."

"Of course, _Elder."_ I mocked his title.

Maxson narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before speaking again, "Dismissed, Knight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THHHHEEEE SLOOOOOWESSSTT OF THE BURNS. 
> 
> Also, forgive me if Maxson and Danse's dialogue is poorly written... I'm still trying to master their vocabulary. I'm tempted to restart the game and take notes on Maxson and Danse so I can nail this a bit better than I have been. 
> 
> The next chapter will be longer, I promise. :O


	4. Blue Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things on the Prydwen aren't looking so hot for Amber.

The Glowing Sea was unlike anything I've ever seen before, it was literally like hell on earth. The radiation that lingers throughout it is so strong that even in my power armor, I had still felt the urge to get sick at certain times and I had a migraine within minutes of being in the Glowing Sea. Danse said he was perfectly fine and then proceeded to scold me for drinking basically all night to the point where I had two hours sleep, and he scolded me for not eating before we left the Prydwen. I couldn't really blame my stupidity on the Glowing Sea, but I'm sure anyone who's ever been in there would agree with me.

Glowing Sea = No man's land.

Except for the fucking Children of Atom... a bunch of random weirdo's who praise "the atom" and are somehow living in the Glowing Sea. Like I said, I've seen a lot of shit before... but that... that may have topped it. 

It's hard to believe that 200 years ago the 'Glowing Sea' was south Boston, one of my favorite places to be, mostly because of the beach. Boston is surrounded by beaches, but none held a candle to the one south of Boston. Not only the beach but the shopping centres and the parks, the people and the lights. Hell, i adored everything about south Boston. Yet, Nate and I found ourselves buying our first home together in Sanctuary Hills. 

Sanctuary Hills used to be calm, peaceful and beautiful. Surrounded by water, beautiful scenery that helped forget the busy Boston everyday life, a children's park that would have been perfect for Shaun, and concord within walking distance. What I wouldn't give to be back in those days again. Maybe I would have done more with my life, told my loved ones how much they meant to me a bit more, appreciated all that I had - including Nate.

Though I was head over heels in love with Nate, things started to take a change for the worst. 

Shortly after Shaun was born, I fell into depression, postpartum depression. Things between the United States and other countries were tense, a ticking time bomb... Well, an atom bomb to be exact. I knew it was only a matter of time before Nate was deployed again and because of this, I was constantly on edge. Nate sensed it and tried to convince me that everything was going to be okay and that he'd join the civilian workforce again and if I didn't like being a homemaker anymore, I could go back to law school. 

No matter how hard Nate tried to make me happy and help me get back to my old self, nothing worked. We went and saw a doctor who prescribed me antidepressants. Those worked, really well actually, for about a week until I finally stopped taking them. Nate never knew I stopped taking them. Nate didn't know a lot of things... He didn't know that I was still miserable. He didn't know that I was struggling to be the best mother I could be at such a young age, he didn't know that i fell out of love with him, and he didn't know that I had started to pack all my stuff and hide it in the crawl space.

That's actually the only reason why I'm able to wear my own makeup 200 years later. The day the bombs fell, I was planning on telling Nate that Shaun and I were going to say at my parent's place for awhile. 

_"You know, I was thinking, maybe we could take Shaun to the park later and have a picnic. We haven't been out as a family in awhile" Nate suggested with a warm, loving smile._

_"I uh... Kinda wanted to have a talk with you instead"_

_"Sir?! Mum?! You should see this!"_

_"Codsworth?!" Nate shouted out, pulling his brow together, "What's wrong?"_

God, I was a fucking fool. A miserable, ungrateful fucking fool. I had a beautiful home, a wonderful husband that truly loved everything about me and, I had a beautiful son.   
I'd give anything to go back to those days just to kiss Nate and tell him I love him and thank you for giving me the best gift in life - Shaun.

\------------------------------

"Knight Hedlund?" Danse's voice abruptly awoke me from my thoughts. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head and nodded slightly, "I'm fine, I'm... I'm just thinking about that Courser we have to track down, is all." I lied.

Danse opened his mouth to say something but the look on my face silenced him. Danse was just as exhausted as I was, I highly doubt the first thing he wants to do being back aboard the Prydwen is pry at me about my silence, especially when the first thing we have to do is report to Elder Maxson. Danse would probably argue against me if he knew what I was thinking, but I know for a fact that the last thing either of us wants to do is meet with Maxson.

"This really can't fucking wait until we get out of these tin cans?" I groaned, literally dragging my body up the stairs. 

Danse shot me a glare for my choice of words, "I'm afraid not, Elder Maxson ordered for us to report to him immediately." 

I rolled my eyes, "Of course he did"

Danse frowned at my response and continued to lead me inside of the command deck. Maxson, as usual, had his back to us and it wasn't until Danse cleared his throat and called out to Maxson, that he actually turned around and paid attention to Danse and I. Maxson was either in too deep of thought to have noticed us clank our way up behind him, or he just simply did not care.

"Paladin," Maxson greeted curtly, nodding at Danse. Maxson's bright blue eyes shifted over to me and I immediately felt my cheeks grow warm, "Knight."

Strands of hair had fallen out from my sad excuse of a knot at the back of my head, and the wind has made the top of my hair messy and wild. My eye makeup was slightly smudged and there was a growing purple bruise on my left cheekbone. My power armour had taken a beating from my very first Deathclaw encounter, and there was still dried blood across the chest area of my suit of power armour. I could only imagine how unpresentable I must appear right now in the eyes of Elder Maxson.

I tried my hardest to avoid Maxson's gaze that he seemed to have on me while Danse explained how our lead in the Glowing Sea was a success and that it pointed us to our next step which would be hunting down an Institute Courser and executing it. Maxson turned his attention away from me a few moments after Danse had finally finished his report. 

"I am pleased to see you both return safely," Maxson stated dully, glancing back and forth between me and Danse. 

"Thank you, sir," Danse nodded in appreciation, "Knight Hedlund proved herself to be very useful during our mission."

My face twisted in confusion as I turned and looked at Danse and cocked an eyebrow, _"Really?..."_. Danse cleared his throat, silently telling me not to say anything to what he had just said. "...Reaaaaaaally, Danse? Reaaaaaallly?"

Of course, I proved myself useful, I was "useful" before I even stumbled upon Danse at Cambridge Police Department. I was even more "useful" when MacCready and I helped Danse take care of those feral ghouls who were attacking the Cambridge Police Department. Hell, I proved myself to be useful when I followed Danse into ArcJet Systems and cleared out all of those Synths without even so much as batting an eyelash. I managed to find the lost recon team AND convince that nut job Brandis to return to the Brotherhood, even after he almost blew my head off. Yeah, Danse, I am fucking useful.

I can't be mad at Danse though, his head is so far up the Brotherhood's and Maxson's ass that I don't think he realizes what he says when he's around Maxson, as he's too nervous to think straight or he just flat out lives and breathes the Brotherhood. 

Sighing, I put on a fake smile and turned back to look at Elder Maxson, "That, I was!"

"I have no doubt in my mind, Knight," Maxson replied shortly.

Danse smiled proudly and was blind to the awkward tension between Maxson and I. Our eyes were locked on one another for what felt like an eternity and though he made me slightly nervous at times - like this - I couldn't help but be intrigued by the Elder. 

His expression was unreadable, it was like he was glaring a hole right through me, trying to figure me out. Since finding out that I had brought a member from The Railroad aboard the Prydwen, I don't think Maxson trusts me. In fact, I can sense that he questions my loyalty, even though I've since yet to return to The Railroad. 

He doesn't know if he can trust me. I know it - and he knows - that I know.

"It has also come to my attention that you were able to convince Paladin Brandis to return to the Brotherhood," Maxson finally broke the awkward silence amongst the three of us, "Well done, Knight."

"Thank you, Elder" I replied dully. Maxson nodded at my gratitude before turning his attention back to Danse. 

While the two of them talked about shit I couldn't care less about, my eyes scanned my surroundings. What is with all of these couches? Has anyone ever sat on these? I've yet to see anyone sit on these. Does Maxson sit on these for fun? Does he just stand there and stare out the window? I bet these couches could come in handy... heh... I mean, Maxson... he... er... it's not wrong if I observe from afar? He's fucking gorgeous. Ugh, no. Why am I thinking about the Elder of the Brotherhood like this? Bad, Amber... Bad. 

"Isn't that right, Knight Hedlund?" Danse asked, staring at me with wide eyes and a fake grin.

"Huh?" I asked before shaking my head, "Oh... yeah. Yeah, totally."

Maxson cocked an eyebrow at me and I could practically see the nervous sweat beads rolling down Danse's forehead. Pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek, I shrugged and chuckled nervously. Danse closed his eyes and sighed an irritated sigh before turning his attention back to Maxson.

"Like I was saying, sir, the Deathclaw stood no chance against Knight Hedlund and myself," Danse chuckled warmly.

"Fuck sake..." I muttered under my breath. I was already annoyed that I had to stand here and listen to Danse give his "report" when I could very well be under semi warm water right now getting all this blood, dirt and God only knows what off of my body. But oh no, rambling man over he beside me has decided it's story time.

While Danse and Maxson continued to talk, well, while Danse talked and Maxson listened, I couldn't help but eye up Maxson. As soon as I had met Elder Maxson, I had found him attractive. It was hard not to find Maxson attractive, between his striking good looks and his obvious high level of intelligence, he most certainly was hard not to find attractive. But it wasn't until standing here bored out of mind, 'listening' to Danse ramble on, that I noticed how bright and blue Maxson's eyes are. 

"Thank you, sir. Ad Victoriam!" Danse said proudly, holding his fist over his chest.

Maxson mirrored Danse's action, "Ad Victoriam, Paladin."

"Dismissed!"

I could have cried tears of happiness when Maxson finally dismissed us. Danse and I hurried out of the command deck and went our separate ways. Being out of that heavy and uncomfortable power armor was a luxury in itself, but having a fairly hot shower and being clean yet once again was the real luxury. If it weren't for the hunger pains I was experiencing, I would have spent a lot longer in the shower than I had. 

After I finished drying my body off, I slipped on a black wifebeater of Nate's that I had found upon my arrival home after exiting the vault, and a pair of cutoff jean shorts that I had made one hot afternoon while MacCready and I were venturing off to Diamond City, and I couldn't handle the heat any longer. They ended up being quite a bit shorter than I had originally intended, but with the humidity and dryness around the Commonwealth, I didn't care. 

By the time I had finished brushing my hair, my stomach was growling uncontrollably. Without any thought, I made my way across the Prydwen to the mess hall. A few scribes gave me weird looks and scoffed at me before whispering about me amongst one another, while a few Lancer-Knight's and male initiates gawked at me as I walked by. One knight who was seated at a table across from the table Danse was eating at, whistled at me before laughing with the rest of the men he was sitting with.

It wasn't until Danse glanced up at me from his plate of food and nearly spit his beer out before I realized something was obviously terribly wrong. Frowning, I plopped down across from Danse.

"What?!" I hissed.

Danse cleared his throat and looked away from me, his face beat red, "Where is your uniform, Knight?"

"I'm not wearing that ugly fucking thing," I snapped, "Glorified fucking prison outfit."

"Your civilian clothing is highly inappropriate, Knight," Danse said in a low tone, trying not to embarrass me.

"Oh really?" I asked, "Really? This is coming from the Paladin of an army who's doctor has to ask if it's soldiers fuck things that aren't human."

Danse clicked his jaw to the side and sighed, "I'm not trying to offend you Kni-"

"Can you stop calling me that? You know my name." I snapped, "They're shorts. God forbid the males on this ship have to see a pair of shaved legs."

Danse sighed and nodded slightly, "You're right. I apologize, Amber."

"Was that so hard? _Danse_ " I giggled.

Danse chuckled lightly, "It's Richard."

"Really?"

"Yes...?"

"I expected... something different,"

"What did you expect?"

"Danse" I giggled.

Danse chuckled, "Danse Danse?"

I shrugged, "It has a cool ring to it."

"No, it does not" Danse replied, lifting his brows.

"My dog's name is Dogmeat..." 

Danse slowly removed his bottle of beer he had held up to his lips and raised an eyebrow, "Surely, you're not serious..."

"I'm dead serious... and don't call me Shirley."

"Go get some food, Amber..." Danse said, shaking his head at me.

"Don't act like you're not impressed," I teased, getting up and patting Danse on the shoulder.

I didn't catch what Danse mumbled under his breath as I walked away from the table and over to where the mess hall officer was serving brahmin stew and razorgrain rolls. My mouth watered at the smell lingering throughout the mess hall and I was ecstatic to be handed my tray of food. 

Turning on my heel, I started back towards the table Danse was still sitting at. I was too happy and focused on staring at my tray of food to notice the pile of slimy "food" that someone had dropped just moments before. Just when I was almost at the table, my right foot collided with the food and I slipped.

Clamping my eyes shut, I awaited the pain of my back hitting the steel floor. My tray of food flew out of my hands and up into the air, and before I could hit the floor, I was caught by a pair of strong arms. 

Gulping, I opened my eyes and stared up at Maxson who was staring back down at me. Normally, I'd be blushing a dark shade of red being in someone's arms like this... but if anything, I was more thankful than I was shy.

Just when I opened my mouth to thank him for catching me, I looked up towards the ceiling and watched as the contents of the bowl of Brahmin soup landed on top of Maxson's head. I could practically hear Danse having a stroke from where he was sitting. Everyone in the mess hall gasped and my mouth fell agape as I stood back up and took a step back from Maxson. 

Maxson slowly opened his eyes and gritted his teeth in disgust as chunks of brahmin meat and whatever else was in the soup made it's way down his face and onto his coat. 

"Elder, I am so, so, so sorry-"

Maxson held up a gloved hand, silencing me immediately. I chewed on my bottom lip and Danse groaned from the table while Maxson turned on his heel and stormed out of the mess hall, leaving me standing there stunned at what had just happened.

_Fuck. My. Life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, butttttttt thanks to my lovely friend **sincerelyholls** , I FINALLY have an idea to bring you guys some Arthur/Amber time for the next chapter. 
> 
> Feel free to join me on [Tumblr](http://spricetheprice.tumblr.com/)


	5. Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired from the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack, "Far Away" by Jose Gonzalez.
> 
> Please forgive any spelling/grammar errors! I did this whole chapter on my phone and tried my hardest to edit it before clicking post but... Just in case I missed anything!

Sleep just wasn't coming tonight no matter how hard I tried to force myself to fall asleep. Between the snoring sounds from other Brotherhood members who were all fast asleep around me, and the creaks, hums and haws from the Prydwen itself, I was too distracted by every little sound possible. To be fair, though, I couldn't blame the barely noticeable noises around me on my lack of sleep that I have been getting. My mind is what has been keeping me awake at all hours of the night.

**Shaun.**

I couldn't help but worry about Shaun being trapped inside of the Institute. Sure, he appeared to be "fine" in Kellogg's memories... but was he? What if he was actually afraid and wondering where his mom and dad were? and wondering why we're not there with him? Does he too have late nights thinking about the mother he's never met? Does he dream about me finding him? Does he even think about me at all? 

I know I'm doing everything that I possibly can to get myself inside of the Institute, just by being here with the Brotherhood. Every day I grow one step closer to finding Shaun and helping Maxson and the Brotherhood destroy the Institute. I should be happy, I should be proud of myself for making it this far. Yet, here I am... lying on an uncomfortable cot, staring up at the ceiling and reminiscing about a life that I once lived and is never coming back, also while worrying myself sick about my son who's been abducted by a group of scientists that create synthetic humans.

The only "family" I had left from before the war was Codsworth, who's back at Sanctuary preparing for mine and Shaun's arrival. Hell, the only "family" I have now are the few friends I've made during my time out of the vault. I miss MacCready, I miss Deacon, I miss Curie and Cait, Hancock and Preston, Nick and Piper... I miss all of them. I have Danse, and I'm grateful for Danse... but it's sure lonely when he's not around. I just want to find my son, bring him home to Sanctuary and see all of my friends again, which, luckily for me is easy to do since most of them now live at Sanctuary. Someday... someday soon... I hope.

"Four in the morning already?" I muttered to myself, glancing down at my Pipboy, "Lovely... this is just lovely." 

Groaning, I sat up in bed and ran my fingers through my long dark brown hair. I was not ready to start my day yet. But, I forced myself out of bed and quickly and quietly dressed in my road leathers before deciding to go and 'quietly' work on the gun Danse had given me back when we first met. Today Danse and I are supposed to head over to the old C.I.T Ruins and track down and kill an Institute Courser, so making sure my weapons were in top shape is crucial. Righteous Authority is the name of the laser rifle that Danse gifted me. She's fast and efficient and proved herself more than useful when we had to take down a Deathclaw. Sure, she isn't a guaranteed kill like my double-barrelled shotgun is, but she sure as hell is a lot more reliable when a mutated chameleon with razor sharp claws is charging towards you.

Unfortunately, Righteous Authority's stock was damaged during our return from the Glowing Sea when we were ambushed by raiders. Long story short, a raider jumped out in front of me and without hesitation, I bashed him over the head with my gun. Now, I have to fix the damage from bashing the raider over the head with the gun.

"Why didn't I pay attention to Danse when he showed me this..." I muttered, staring at all of the parts I had taken apart in front of me. Sighing, I continued to curse under my breath as I attempted to put a new stock on Righteous Authority.

"Knight Hedlund," A deep rugged voice called out from behind me.

I spun around and gulped as my eyes locked with Elder Maxson's piercing blue ones. He wasn't wearing his infamous coat, which told me that it was probably either still covered in my stew or that some poor initiate was still awake scrubbing it clean. Maxson looked almost strange wearing "normal" clothes, yet he still looked just as intimidating in a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt as he did in his coat. 

"Elder, uh..." I started, pausing to stare at his arms. Wincing, I cleared my throat before continuing, "...Good morning! I... I'm... I am so, so sorry about what happened last night. I slipped and you caught me and... Well, thank you for that, but my food got all over you. I feel horrible... if it makes you feel any better, I didn't-"

"There's no need to discuss the events that occurred last night in the mess hall, Knight Hedlund." Maxson cut me off, giving me a chance to exhale a shaky breath.

"I still feel awful..." I said softly, turning away from him and sighing as I stared down at all of the pieces in front of me.

"Knight are you aware that quiet time on the Prydwen is between-"

"I couldn't sleep," I interrupted, "I'm not being loud either, Elder."

Maxson nodded slightly and took a step closer, standing now only inches away from me on my right. I could feel myself become nervous and tense as he looked over exactly what it was that I was doing. He then shifted his eyes over to me and watched in amusement as I balled my clammy hands into fists at my sides and swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my throat. 

"It appears we seem to be having the same problem," he spoke, turning his attention back down to my gun, "may I?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, "Please..."

Maxson picked up the screwdriver I had been using just minutes ago and began to fumble around with Righteous Authority. I turned to me side and leaned my hip against the work bench and watched closely as he began to do what I was already trying to do.

"By now I'm sure you've deduced that our arrival in the commonwealth wasn't coincidental. We're here because of an unique energy reading recorded by Paladin Danse's recon team," Maxson started to explain as he continued doing whatever it was that he was doing to my gun.

"I figured as much," I admitted.

"According to our scribes the reading indicated a level of technology that only the institute could achieve. The moment that this information came to light, our mission became clear," he continued, pausing to tighten a few screws on the stock, "The institute and everyone responsible for the creation of synths must be eliminated at all costs."

"It's what needs to be done..." I agreed awkwardly.

"With the lead you were given from the rogue institute scientist, I cannot stress enough that hunting down this institute courser is crucial."

"Well, believe me when I say that I'm aware, Elder."

"That being said, your safety and wellbeing is even more crucial. Therefor, you need to be well rested and prepared." He lectured.

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him in disbelief, "With all due respect Elder, I think you need to take your own advice. What has you awake at this time of the night?"

"I have a lot on my plate." He quipped, looking away from me as he picked up righteous authority and held it as if he was about to fire it, "Good as new."

"How did you do that so fast?!" I gasped.

For the first time since being aboard, Maxson's cold hard features cracked, allowing the corners of his lips to crack a smirk, "I didn't become Elder by not knowing what I am doing, Knight."

"Amber," I reminded him with a friendly smile. 

My smile soon vanished as Maxson just continued to stare a hole right through me. My eyes shifted to the side for a moment and I licked my dry lips, trying to search for words to say. I was becoming more nervous than I already had been.

"Does my presence make you nervous, Amber?" He asked in a low tone, handing me righteous authority.

I swallowed hard and nodded slightly. His expression softened, as if he had been stung by my reaction. His reaction alone told me that something was up. Ever since I was young, I could read people like a book. Maxson was hard to read up until this very moment.

I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I stared him right in the eyes, "Does mine?"

His eyes softened, clearly taken back by what I had just asked him. His softened expression was soon replaced with his usual scowl.

"In not sure I follow just exactly what it is that you're asking me, Knight."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Forger it, Elder."

Maxson opened his mouth to say something but closed it when another Knight in power armour on patrol, walked by and greeted him curtly with the nod of his head. Maxson returned the gesture and waited for the Knight to be gone before turning his attention back to me.

"Care to accompany me to the flight deck, Knight?"

"Care to stop addressing me as that every time you speak to me, Elder?" 

Maxson's smirk returned, "Arthur."

"Arthur?" I repeated out loud.

"If you wish for me to address you by your first name when it's just you and I, I would like you to do the same for me." He explained as he lead me out to the flight deck.

"Fair enough," I sighed, closing my eyes and embracing the cool wind blowing my hair around wildly. 

We stopped in the exact same spot on the flight deck where he had Danse and I meet him for mission details before heading to Fort Strong. I leaned against the rail and exhaled a shaky breath. Maxson stood beside me and placed a cigarette between his lips.

Cocking a brow, I turned my head and looked at him, "You smoke?"

"Sometimes," he replied shortly, holding out another cigarette.

Shrugging, I accepted the cigarette and placed it between my lips, "Thanks"

Arthur nodded before exhaling a cloud of smoke up in the air. I lit the end of my cigarette and inhaled a long drag. It was almost like an instant relief. I see why people before the war use to smoke cigarettes and cigars in order to "relax" while they were stressed.

"Is something the matter?" He asked casually, glancing over at me.

I frowned, "No... Just stressed is all, if you want the truth."

"About the courser?" Arthur asked, taking another drag off of his cigarette.

"Yeah..." I lied, looking away. "You know, from up here... The commonwealth almost looks peaceful"

"That is one way to look at it, Knight."

"Amber!" I corrected with a giggle, "Come on Arthur, you can do it! It's not hard, I promise!"

"Say it with me, Ammm-berrr," I teased, flashing him a goofy grin as I giggled.

"I am your commander, knight. I will address you how I address everyone else aboard this ship."

I rolled my eyes, "Right, sorry sir."

"Arthur," he retorted in a mocking tone.

A smirk crept upon his lips and I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back my laughter.

"With all due respect sir, you seriously lack in the humour department."

"I resent that statement, Knight." He said softly, tossing his cigarette over the railing.

"Of course you do, Elder." I said with a smile.

We both stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. My smile slowly faded as did his. I watched as his eyes looked me over, as if he was trying to figure me out or something. 

"You know..." I started, breaking eye contact and looking off into the distance, "It's good you guys arrived when you did. I think you guys give people hope, you know?" I trailed off awkwardly. 

"I told you when we first met that I care about the people of the Commonwealth. That has not changed, Knight." He replied, running his fingers through his hair that for once was not slicked back into its usual style. 

"I wish I could say the same, sir." I sighed in defeat.

"What do you mean?"

"I just— well, I feel like I'm half assing them, you know?" I paused, closing my eyes as I mentally kicked myself for cursing in front of the Elder. "I'm sorry..." I winced.

"You've gone above and beyond for them, Knight." He stated, ignoring my comment. "You are one hell of a soldier, Knight Hedlund. I am proud to have you in our ranks."

"Thank you, Elder." I smiled warmly. "And thank you for fixing my laser rifle."

"I can only hope you learned something from it," he grinned.

"Ahh! So you do have a sense of humour under there!" 

He opened his mouth to say something but the sound of footsteps running towards us changed his mind. A frantic scribe came to a sudden halt in front of me. 

The scribe sighed in relief, "Knight Hedlund!" He panted, "Paladin Danse—Paladin Danse is in there having a God damn stroke looking for you!"

"What?! Why?!" I exclaimed. 

"You're suppose to be geared up by now for your mission at 0600!" The scribed exclaimed, "Please for the love of all that is holy come back inside with me before Danse blows a blood vessel."

Arthur cleared his throat and stepped into view of the frantic scribe. The scribes eyes widened and he immediately stood tall, straightened out his back and clasped his hands behind him.

"Elder Maxson, sir!" The scribe addressed Maxson. "I did not see you there!"

"Scribe Billingsly," Maxson acknowledged the scribe, "Please report back to Paladin Danse and ensure him that Knight Hedlund will be ready to depart at 0600. Have him know that I summoned for her for further debriefing of her mission in the Glowing Sea."

"Sir yes sir!" 

"Dismissed."

With that, the scribe turned on his heel and hurried back inside. I couldn't help but be amused at how scared the scribe was as soon as Maxson stepped out from the shadows. The look on the scribes face was priceless, like he had just seen a ghost or shit his own pants. 

Did Maxson really just lie about what we were actually doing out here? Not that we were doing anything besides awkward conversation and smoking... But still. 

"I think I better go get ready," I broke the silence. "Danse is going to worry himself sick if I'm not geared up and prepared properly for our mission."

Arthur nodded, "Very well, be safe soldier."

"Thank you, Elder Maxson." 

He nodded, acknowledging my gratitude. I flashed him a warm smile before heading towards back inside. 

"Amber-" Maxson called out behind me.

I stopped in my tracks and glanced back at him from over my shoulder, "Yes sir?"

"Did I address you correctly that time?"

I smirked, "Well done,"

A smug look of satisfaction spread on his face as he watched me make my way up the steel stairs. Before reaching for the door handle, I glanced back over my shoulder.

"I'll see you when I get back... _Arthur_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter forgive me!


	6. Stressed Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title basically describes Maxson in this chapter.

Green Tech Genetics was a blood bath. It was infested with Gunners that were fighting to stay alive against the Courser that Danse and I were after. Some - assuming a Gunner - was yelling into the intercom, instructing the Gunners to take out the Courser, and telling the Gunners what floor the Courser was on.

_Whoever is alive, get up to the third floor!_

"Third floor..." I whispered to myself as I hid behind cover from bullets flying towards us.

Getting to the third floor was easier than done, especially when some of the gunners had missile launchers and were killing anyone sight... like they always do. Luckily for me, I had my trusty tin can companion who came prepared in his fancy Paladin Power Armor, unlike me who was in road leathers and no armor of any sort what so ever. 

Needless to say, Danse was pissed and lectured me all the way from the Prydwen to Green Tech. It's no secret that I hate power armor. It slows me down, makes it impossible to be stealthy, not to mention it tends to intimidate the citizens of the Commonwealth... Especially with the Brotherhood of Steel logo right on the chest plate. However, be that as it may, it IS a life saver and I'm a God damn idiot for not listening to Danse. Because now, we're wasting time taking cover every few steps and turns to keep me from getting shot and killed.

Eventually, though, we made it. The fight against the Courser made the Gunners seem like radroaches. He was tough - an understatement - and he was smart, he used a stealth boy and made it more complex than I ever expected it to be. I thought for sure I was a goner, and that would be my own fault due to lack of armor. The burning sensation in the side of my ribcage tells me that Danse was right and I was obviously wrong and stupid. I'm lucky that the Courser's laser rifle just grazed me and didn't kill me. Lucky. Heh. Pretty soon that luck is going to run out. 

 

"Are you alright, Soldier?!" Danse called from across the room.

Wincing, I turned my attention away from the hole burnt on the side of my jacket, and over to Danse, "I'm fine"

"So..." Danse started as he approached me, "That was the supposedly terrifying Courser? I've killed ferals that were more tenacious"

"He's dead now, thankfully..." I breathed.

"Indeed he is. Now, let's take that chip you recovered and have it decrypted as soon as possible" 

"To Goodneighbor we go."

"Wait!" The synth yelled.

Danse raised his rifle and I clicked my jaw to the side, holding out an arm, insisting that he lets me handle the situation. Reluctantly, Danse lowered his weapon and took a step back, glaring at the imprisoned synth as he made his way over to the elevator and waited impatiently. 

"Please, please help me!" 

"I don't know how to get you out," I shouted.

"That toolbox over there! The password is in there, use it on the terminal and let me out. Please! Hurry!"

Sighing, I limped over to the toolbox, got the code and eventually got the synth out. As soon as the doors opened, she immediately ran to me and wrapped her arms around me. Danse, being Danse, had his rifle raised and aimed at her head sooner than I could process what she had just done. 

"Danse!" I growled.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" She cried. I winced at the pressure her hug was applying to my wound, but still made an attempt to pat her on the shoulder. "Thank you, thank you... I don't know what to say"

Taken back, I let her go and cleared my throat, "You don't have to say anything, you're welcome."

Danse let out a laugh of disbelief, causing me to glare him down. The synth glanced over at Danse and gulped before glancing back at me. 

"My... Institute designation is K1-9B. But I prefer Jenny. So yes, I'm a synth. If you hadn't already guessed." She explained, making Danse stare at her in disgust. "I knew they'd send a Courser, I just didn't think he'd find me so fast." 

"Either you deal with it, or I will soldier." Danse piped up.

I rolled my eyes, "Jesus... Elder Maxson, give it a rest. Jenny, get the hell out of here."

"You have got to be kidding me!" Danse exclaimed as he followed me to the elevator, "That was a synth!"

"And so was Nick but you didn't kill him so... chill. C'mon Danse, let's go, we're burning daylight."

______________

Maxson couldn't help but find himself distracted and worried about his new Knight's well-being. Why was she on his mind like this? Why did he find himself often checking to see if she and Danse had returned from Greentech Genetics?

"Elder Maxson?" A scribe repeated, staring at a zoned out Elder.

"Y-Yes, Scribe?" Maxson said, shaking his head slightly in hopes to clear his thoughts. 

"Are you alright, sir?" 

Maxson scrunched his brow becoming slightly irritated, "I am fine, Scribe. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Here is the paperwork that Captain Kells ordered me to bring to you immediately," The scribe said awkwardly, handing Maxson the paperwork. Maxson tried his hardest to refrain from showing just how annoyed he really was. "Captain Kells also wanted me to inform you that he needs these all signed and brought back to him as soon as possible."

"Thank you..." Maxson grumbled, tossing the paperwork down on his table. The Scribe turned to leave but Maxson cleared his throat causing the Scribe to stop dead in her tracks, "Has Paladin Danse and Knight Hedlund returned to the Prydwen yet?"

The scribe shook her head, "No, sir."

Maxson's jaw muscles tightened and he glanced down at the floor, "Thank you, Scribe. Dismissed."

Once the Scribe left his quarters, Maxson leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting out a long aggravated sigh. He glanced around the room, letting his eyes land on the whiskey bottle on the table. Though it was only mid afternoon, Maxson found himself reaching for his whiskey bottle and leaning against the table, sighing yet once again. Knight Hedlund was on his mind again. How was this woman that he barely knew, on his mind? 

Maxson took a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle, gasping as he pulled the bottle away from his lips. He was becoming more and more irritated as he tried to figure out why he could not focus due to this woman. It didn't help that she was intriguing, beautiful and easy to speak to. Being the Elder, he's surrounded by tons of people, yet he finds himself to be the loneliest person in the Brotherhood. 

But when Knight Hedlund is present, he feels.... different. There's something about her and he can't quite put his finger on it. Something about the way she blushes after she giggles in front of him, the way her eyes twinkle when she smiles, how strands of her dark hair fail to stay in her messy braid that she has pulled in front of one of her shoulders. Overall, she's attractive, he knows that. It's hard to not notice how attractive she really is. However, it's inappropriate and Maxson can't fathom how he's allowing himself to think about one of his Knights like this. He was nothing but a mere boy last time he allowed himself to feel this way for another member of The Brotherhood of Steel. 

He would not allow himself to have those feelings for another member again, and he especially would not allow what happened to Sarah Lyons to happen to Amber Hedlund.

____________________

We finally made it to Goodneighbor, and Danse finally stopped lecturing me about letting the Synth go. I wouldn't even really call that a lecture, that was more like a couple hour scolding from a parent for doing something wrong. Danse was extremely pissed off at me and made sure I was aware of what the Brotherhood stood for and what their purpose here in the Commonwealth was, and allowing Synths to go free was NOT one of them.

"Do you understand, Knight?"

"Atom bomb baby, little... atom BOMB" I sang obnoxiously, trying to ignore Danse who clearly wasn't done lecturing like I thought he was. 

"Amber-"

"I want her in my wigwam! She's just the way that I want her to be, a million times hotter than tnt!" 

"Knight Hedlund, God damn it!"

"The atom bomb, the atom bomb, the atom bomb-"

"That's not even what they are saying, Knight"

"How do you know? And quit calling me Knight, DANSE."

Danse sighed in annoyance, "For the love of God, do you comprehend what I am telling you?!"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah,"

"Amber...." Danse said in a warning tone, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Fine, yes, I do. Now come on atom bomb baby, let's go see Dr. Amari" 

Once we were in the Memory Den we immediately made our way to the basement of the Memory Den where Amari usually always was. Amari immediately glanced up from her terminal and sighed in relief as I made my way over to her. 

"You're back from the Glowing Sea! What happened?" She exclaimed. 

"Found Virgil. He's got a way inside the Institute," I started pausing to catch my breath and to pull out the Courser chip from my pocket. I held it up at her and watched as she pulled her eyebrows together at the sight of the chip, "But... I need a code from this Courser chip." 

"A Courser chip?! Y-You fought one?! Oh God..." 

"Killed one," I corrected.

Amari's eyes widened, "Well... I'm glad you got what you needed from doing so... but unfortunately, I can't help you-"

"Why?!" 

"I've worked on a lot of synths, Amber. But never a Courser! I don't know what that chip does, let alone how to decode it!"

"That's okay... I know some people who probably could," I sighed.

"The Railroad!" Both Amari and I said at the same time.

"I am not going anywhere near them Synth-loving freaks," Danse growled.

I pressed my tongue to the inside of my cheek and turned to look at Danse, "Really?"

"I will accompany you, but I refuse to speak to them." 

I rolled my eyes, "Jesus Danse, I'm not asking you to sit down and have tea and fucking crumpets with them! We need them to decode this!" 

Amari glared at Danse as Danse and I bickered back and forth about my friendship with the Railroad. Danse knew we had to go to them regardless of his disdain for them, but he still wanted to make sure I remembered that I am with the Brotherhood and not the Railroad. It was bad enough that I was already the "General" of the Minutemen because Preston is a hot mess. I love him, he's one of my best friends, but damn... he basically handed me a laser musket and said, "Praise Jesus, Hallelujah, you're the General now!". 

"Head back to the Prydwen, I'm gonna get MacCready to come with me," I lied. 

"Are you sure?" Danse asked, raising his eyebrows.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll probably be easier to get the Railroad to be cooperative if I show up with Mac rather than you, anyway."

"You're going all the way back to Sanctuary to get him?" Danse asked suspiciously.

I shook my head, "Nah... Mac's down in the third rail here in Goodneighbor." 

Danse pursed his lips and nodded slowly, "Alright... I'll see you back on the Prydwen, Soldier. Good luck."

"Thanks, Danse." I smiled weakly. 

I let out a shaky breath as I watched Danse take his leave. Amari cleared her throat and I spun around and frowned. She copied my expression and sighed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later..." I said awkwardly.

Dr. Amari nodded slightly, "Good luck." 

I nodded and turned and headed for the door. Just as I was about to reach for the doorknob, Amari called my name. 

_"I don't often say this... but I hope heaven is looking out for you..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how short this was annnnnnddddd sorry for the long wait for an update! Life has been crazy hectic :/ but thankfully, summer is coming to an end... and I become a hermit so I'll be able to update more frequently.


End file.
